What 16 therapists wish you knew before your first session
What 16 therapists wish you knew before your first session
Starting therapy for the first time feels like stepping into the unknown: sitting in a waiting room, wondering what you may have gotten yourself into, with a head full of assumptions about what therapy is âsupposedâ to look like.
Maybe youâre picturing yourself on a couch while a distant therapist scribbles notes and asks, âHow does that make you feel?â Or maybe youâre wondering if therapy will actually work, if youâll click with your therapist, or how long itâll take before you feel different.
The reality is that therapy looks different for everyone, and no two journeys are exactly alike. But one thing does apply to everyone: Therapy has the power to genuinely change your life.
Whether youâre still on the fence or already have your first appointment scheduled, hearing directly from therapists can help you feel more prepared for whatâs ahead. Thatâs why asked 16 mental health professionals this simple question: âWhatâs one thing you wish people knew before they started therapy?â
Their answers might surprise you.
1. You donât need to be in crisis to start.
You donât need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. It can help you better understand yourself, develop , and improve your relationships. While it can be hard to prioritize yourself and make space for therapy, once you start, youâll often find you can navigate lifeâs challenges more effectivelyâand the support can have lasting impact.
â , licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified art therapist
2. Thereâs no ârightâ way to do it.
Thereâs no ârightâ way to use therapy. Some people worry about what to talk about or how to bring things up, but the best way to use therapy is however you want or need it. Your therapist will meet you where you are while gently challenging you along the way. You can even talk with your therapist about how to best use your time together.
â , licensed clinical social worker
3. Progress happens in small steps.
Progress usually comes in small, incremental steps rather than sudden breakthroughs. Embracing this perspective helps you stay engaged in the process and builds the resilience and openness to change that are essential for lasting benefits.
â , licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks
4. Prepare to feel everything.
Therapy isnât about feeling better, itâs about getting better at feeling. If youâre looking for quick relief, therapy will frustrate you. But if youâre ready to sit in discomfort, get radically honest, and take responsibility for your life, therapy will change everything.
â , licensed master social worker and author of ââ
5. Finding the right therapist is like datingâyou might need a few tries.
You can be picky when . The therapeutic relationship is the most important part of therapy, so if you donât feel connected to your therapist or theyâre just âOK,â itâs probably not the best match. You deserve someone you actually like and feel seen by.
â , licensed clinical social worker
6. Itâs about finding yourself, not fixing yourself.
Therapy isnât really about reducing symptoms. Itâs about realizing you arenât the symptoms themselves. Itâs about working with the symptoms and helping you find the human behind them. It takes hard work, but the result is both control and a new understanding of yourself.
â , registered psychological associate and author of ââ
7. Your therapist wants you to speak up.
You are the expert on you. I always encourage self-advocacy because you know yourself better than anyone. Itâs always OK to ask for a new therapist if youâre not comfortable or request different interventions that better fit your lifestyle. Therapy should be a safe space for you to be your truest self with absolutely no judgment.
â , licensed clinical social worker candidate at Thriveworks
8. Youâre âchoosing your hardâ either way.
Itâs hard to begin therapy and lean into the healing work: confronting painful emotions, examining difficult patterns, challenging long-held beliefs. But itâs also hard to resist healing: carrying unresolved trauma, maintaining unhealthy coping mechanisms, navigating life with limited emotional tools. The difference is that the hardness of healing leads to growth, while the hardness of avoidance leads to stagnation. Therapy isnât about eliminating difficulty from your life; itâs about choosing difficulties that transform you rather than deplete you.
â , licensed clinical professional counselor
9. The real work happens between sessions.
Therapy isnât a âmagic cure.â Yes, it can help, but the sessions themselves arenât what lead to change. Itâs what you do between sessions with the content from those sessions that helps you reach your goals.
â , licensed psychologist at Thriveworks
10. Therapy only works if youâre honest.
Therapy is a two-way street. Your therapist is there to guide and support you, but they canât read your mind. Youâll need to be open and honest for therapy to really work. There will be moments that feel uncomfortable or tough, but thatâs part of the process. Therapy works best when you can be yourself without holding back.
â , licensed marriage and family therapist
11. You are always in control.
You will not be asked to surrender control. Many people donât know what to expect and fear that someone else will take control. As clinicians, weâre here to help you learn more about whatâs troubling you and how to manage it within a collaborative relationship. So speak up if you need something different, have questions, or if something isnât working.
â , psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner at Thriveworks
12. Discomfort means itâs working.
There is no change without resistance. Our bodies and minds are wired for familiarity, even when that familiarity is uncomfortable. Resistance to therapy isnât a sign that youâre failing; itâs a sign youâre moving toward something different. The goal isnât to eliminate discomfort, itâs to learn how to move through it instead of letting it pull you back to whatâs familiar.
â , licensed marriage and family therapist
13. Donât let one bad experience stop you.
If you have a negative experience with a therapist, donât let it deter you from your healing journey. Allow yourself time to pause if needed, then continue searching for a therapist who aligns with your needs and provides the support you deserve.
â , licensed clinical social worker
14. Give yourself permission to struggle.
Give yourself permission to struggle with the process of change. The struggle means youâre challenging your old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Itâs uncomfortable at first, but once new thoughts, feelings, and behaviors become your new norm, the rewards are greater satisfaction with yourself and others.
â , licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks
15. True healing takes time.
Therapy is not a quick fix, but a lifelong tool for growth. Many people expect immediate solutions or think their challenges will disappear overnightâbut healing takes time. Itâs about uncovering layers, understanding patterns, and giving yourself space to process emotions safely. Itâs normal to have ups and downs throughout the process.
â , licensed clinical social worker
16. Your therapist is grateful youâre there.
We are incredibly grateful for you. It takes immense courage to sit down with a stranger and talk about things affecting your mental, physical, and emotional health. I donât take it for granted that Iâve been given this role, and Iâm honored that youâre taking this journey with me.
â , licensed mental health counselor at Thriveworks
was produced by and reviewed and distributed by ±ŹÁÏTV.
