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There aren鈥檛 many losses in life that compare to grief after suicide. It鈥檚 intense, unique, and devastating. Many people can鈥檛 understand this unless they鈥檝e experienced it themselves. Suicide grief is complicated and can be more isolating than other forms of grief. Your pain might feel so deep that it seems like you鈥檒l never find a way through. The truth is, there鈥檚 no 鈥渞ight鈥� way to experience suicide grieving, but there are ways to care for yourself as you start to heal.

If you or someone you love is trying to navigate grief after a suicide, offers healthy coping tools to help you get through this time.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything

One of the most important things about healing from a loss like this is that you accept it鈥檚 OK for you to feel whatever you鈥檙e feeling. Feelings aren鈥檛 forever, and there鈥檚 no formula for how to walk through suicide grief. It鈥檚 vital that you give yourself permission to feel anything and everything you are.

The range of emotions that can follow such a loss can be wildly unpredictable. that losing someone to suicide can cause shame, blame, and feelings of judgment. You might be angry one minute and ashamed or embarrassed the next. You may wake up feeling guilty about what you did鈥攐r didn鈥檛鈥攕ay or do, and go to bed confused because you have a sense of relief. Whatever you feel during this time, know that your feelings are valid and important.

鈥淲hen someone loses a person to suicide, they may feel a range of emotions such as anger, guilt, relief (especially if they believe the person was suffering), or confusion because nothing seems to make sense,鈥� says Talkspace therapist Famous Erwin LMHC, LPC. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to let them know that these emotions are normal and do not mean they are a bad person. Grief is not simple, and there is no one right way to feel. When a person expresses their emotions, it reveals what鈥檚 going on inside them鈥攁nd that鈥檚 a key part of healing.鈥�

Let Go of the 鈥淲hy鈥� (When You鈥檙e Ready)

There鈥檚 no timeline for grief. Learning how to cope with a suicide loss鈥� is a process, and a big part of it involves being able to let go of the why.

Trying to understand someone鈥檚 decision to end their life can be agonizing. You can鈥檛 predict or rush when or how it鈥檒l happen. One day, though, you will be able to free yourself from the burden of needing to understand. You may never fully understand their decision, but coming to terms with this is a powerful part of your healing after a loved one dies by suicide.

鈥淎s a counselor, I often encourage clients to begin by naming the uncertainty they're sitting with,鈥� Erwin says. 鈥� Acknowledging 鈥業 don鈥檛 have all the answers鈥� can ease the pressure to resolve the unresolvable. I help them practice self-compassion and focus on what they can control, like daily structure or meaningful routines, while gently normalizing that some questions, especially in grief may remain unanswered. Together, we explore ways to stay grounded in the present moment, create meaning in small ways, and lean into safe relationships for support and healing.鈥�

Talk About Your Loved One and Your Grief

The American Psychological Association (APA) discusses the talking about your loved one's death. Openly sharing memories and emotions helps you process the reality of death, rather than avoiding it. Avoidance may feel protective in the moment, but it can intensify loneliness, strain your connection with others, and slow down the grieving process. By naming your grief and speaking about your loved one, you make space for support, meaning, and emotional release.

Create a Ritual or Tribute That Honors Their Life

It feels good to honor a loved one. Find comfort in celebrating the good things you remember about them. Do things to celebrate the connection you had with them and their impact on others. It can be as simple as getting together for an annual gathering with family, lighting a candle for them on future birthdays, planting a tree in their memory, or even writing them a letter every so often.

Rituals help you feel connected, even after a loss. It reminds you how special they were and that they鈥檙e still in your heart. There鈥檚 no right or wrong way to have a tribute to honor someone鈥檚 life. All that matters is whatever you plan feels meaningful to you.

If you鈥檙e overwhelmed at the idea of planning a tribute, think about things they loved, that made them happy, or that you enjoyed doing together. Small acts of remembrance can help you feel close to them, even years after their passing.

Make Space for Self-Care

Self-care is a critical part of learning how to cope with the suicide of a loved one鈥�. Being aware of your own needs and taking steps to care for yourself ensures you have the strength to heal.

Remembering to do the little things鈥攍ike eating, sleeping, and sometimes, just getting out of bed鈥攃an be incredibly difficult as you recover from the death of a loved one. If you鈥檙e struggling with your basic or daily functioning, be kind to yourself.

Grief is complex, messy, and challenging. In the moments when you feel like you can鈥檛 manage, focus on the basics: rest, nourishment, and gentle movement. If all you have the strength for is showering one day, you鈥檙e doing enough. If it鈥檚 all you can manage to make a bowl of cereal, that鈥檚 enough, too.

Simple ways to practice self-care when you鈥檙e grieving include:

• Going for a walk
• Taking a bath or shower
• Going to bed
• Making a simple meal, like toast or soup
• Asking for help from a friend or family member
• Meditating
• Doing yoga
• Joining a grief support group

Find Support from People Who Understand Suicide Loss

Few things are more powerful than connecting with someone who understands suicide grief. It can be someone who鈥檚 also lost a family member or loved one to suicide, a support group, or anyone who understands where you are emotionally and physically. Finding a safe space to share what you鈥檙e feeling and listen to others will help you feel understood and less alone as you learn .

According to , participants of peer support groups for suicide bereavement report reduced grief and significant improvement in overall well-being.

Work with a Therapist or Grief Counselor

Surviving a suicide loss鈥� can be incredibly difficult to do alone. Working with a therapist or grief counselor ensures you have the tools you need to heal. A professional who鈥檚 trained in suicide bereavement can help you process the complex emotions and feelings you鈥檙e likely experiencing. They can help you navigate your trauma and teach you healthy that support your recovery process.

If it feels like your grief is all-consuming or too much to handle on your own, it鈥檚 OK. You鈥檙e not alone. Reaching out for help is empowering鈥攊t鈥檚 a sign of strength, not something to feel weak about. Through tailored , a grief therapist will help you make sense of your feelings and honor the memory of your loved one. They can help you find a path forward, even if it feels impossible right now.

鈥淲ith suicide loss survivors, I often use a combination of grief-focused therapy and trauma-informed care to help them process complex emotions like guilt, anger, and confusion,鈥� Erwin says. 鈥淭echniques like narrative therapy allow clients to share their story and find meaning, while grounding exercises help manage overwhelming feelings. I also emphasize creating a safe, nonjudgmental space where all emotions are valid and healing can unfold at the client鈥檚 pace.鈥�

Accept That Healing Takes Time

Grief is a journey you can鈥檛 rush. Surviving a suicide loss鈥� is not a linear process. You can feel completely 鈥渘ormal鈥� one day, like you鈥檙e making progress and healing, only to feel like you can鈥檛 function the next. Your pain will be daunting and all-encompassing at times, and that鈥檚 completely normal. Be patient with yourself and accept that the only thing you can rely on is the fact that healing takes time. You might still have difficult days, even months or years later.

It鈥檚 worth noting that, sometimes, dealing with loss evolves into what鈥檚 known as . Also called persistent complex bereavement disorder, complicated grief describes painful feelings and emotions that last more than a year after a loss. If you鈥檙e carrying pain from suicide grief, and it鈥檚 been over a year, and you just can鈥檛 see a way out, it might be time to seek professional help. Healing from complicated grief can happen, but you might need to seek counseling or therapy to get there.

Take Breaks from Grief When You Need To

It sounds strange, but you might need to take a break from your grief. Of course, this doesn鈥檛 mean forgetting what happened or pretending that you鈥檙e over the loss, but it鈥檚 OK to give yourself permission to step away for a little while. Finding small moments of peace will help you heal and recover. You can watch a movie, go to lunch or coffee with a friend, or do a hobby you enjoy. Over time, doing things outside of your grief will become easier.

Taking a break from your heartache doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e forgetting about the loss. It also doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e moving on too soon. It just means you鈥檙e allowing yourself the space and time you need to heal. At first, you might feel guilty for enjoying yourself or laughing, but moments like these are part of healing, and they鈥檙e essential for your well-being.

You鈥檙e Not Alone鈥擲upport Is Always Available

Grieving after suicide can be a lonely, isolating experience, but support and help are available. Healing is an ongoing process, so it鈥檚 all right if you鈥檙e struggling right now. The most important thing to remember is to ask for help, whether it鈥檚 from a friend, a grief counselor, a support group, or a trained mental health professional.

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