How to support a loved one with PTSD
When a family member or friend has (PTSD), it can be hard to know what to do to help. You probably wish nothing more than to see them healthy and at peace. But your loved one鈥檚 diagnosis might be taking a toll on your well-being too.
Providing the support your loved one needs throughout their journey starts with a deeper understanding of this condition. explored how PTSD affects those living with the condition and how their loved ones can create space to support them.
Key Takeaways
- Common symptoms of PTSD, like irritability, flashbacks, mood swings, and social isolation, can take a toll on relationships. However, it鈥檚 important to remember these symptoms aren鈥檛 a choice.
- You can support a loved one with PTSD by initiating a conversation about their mental health. If they鈥檙e not ready to talk, respect their boundaries and ask if you can follow up with them at another time.
- Supporting a loved one with PTSD or another mental health condition can be challenging. So be sure to look after your own well-being by setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.
Understand how PTSD affects your loved one
PTSD is a complex . It can arise out of chronic or acute traumatic events and affect people in different ways.
If a loved one has been diagnosed with PTSD, you might witness them behaving in ways you don鈥檛 understand. They might push you away despite your efforts to help. This can be a confusing experience, but remember their behavior might not be intentional. Trauma and take a lasting toll on their mental health.
You can deepen your understanding of your loved one鈥檚 experience by familiarizing yourself with , which include:
- Flashbacks or nightmares of the traumatic event
- Social isolation
- Jumpiness
- Frequent irritability
- Difficulty sleeping
- Frequent, sudden mood swings
- Trouble with focus and concentration
If your loved one is exhibiting any of these symptoms, you could feel scared, confused, frustrated, or any number of other challenging emotions at the same time. Just remember that your feelings are valid and you deserve support too. And while PTSD symptoms can be hard for everyone involved, know they can be managed with the right support.
Creating space for deeper understanding and support
If you鈥檙e struggling to initiate a conversation about PTSD with your loved one, you鈥檙e not alone. Most people aren鈥檛 taught how to have tough discussions about mental health, so it can be hard to know where to begin. You might worry you鈥檒l say the wrong thing or even make things worse.
The truth is that there鈥檚 no perfect way to have this conversation, and it鈥檚 OK to make mistakes. By taking a little time to prepare, using some of the tips below, you can show your loved one that you care and help them feel less alone.
Consider the time and place
Talking about PTSD can be a delicate matter 鈥 especially when bringing it up for the first time. So, be intentional when you choose a time and place for this conversation. Look for a quiet, private space where you won鈥檛 be interrupted. Choose a time that works for you and your loved one, when neither of you will feel rushed.
Respect their boundaries
If your loved one seems resistant to talk about PTSD, don鈥檛 force the issue. Simply let them know that you care and you鈥檒l be there when they鈥檙e ready to talk. You can also ask if it would be OK to check in with them in a week or so, and then follow up at that time. However, if your loved one is showing any signs that they might be unsafe, don鈥檛 hesitate to seek outside help.*
*A note on safety: If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, don鈥檛 hesitate to call or text 988. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors.
Listen actively
When a loved one is struggling, it鈥檚 natural to want to find an immediate solution. But sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen. Show your loved one you want to understand what they鈥檙e experiencing, even if it鈥檚 difficult to hear. Reflect what you鈥檝e heard, avoid judgement, and offer empathy.
For example, you could say something like, 鈥淚t sounds like you鈥檝e been having nightmares lately and it鈥檚 really affecting your sleep. It makes sense why you鈥檙e exhausted. I鈥檓 sorry you鈥檙e going through this.鈥
Offer logistical help
PTSD can take a toll on executive functioning skills like organization and time management. So if your loved one is having difficulty making appointments or taking other steps to care for their mental health, offer a helping hand. This might include driving them to therapy, watching their children while they鈥檙e at their appointment, or offering to make dinner during a busy week.
Know their triggers
While you can鈥檛 prevent your loved one from being triggered or , knowing what might elicit a strong reaction is helpful 鈥 especially during early recovery. Use your own observations but don鈥檛 make assumptions. Ask your loved one about their triggers and make a plan for navigating them together.
Encourage them to ask for help
Most people with PTSD . So if your loved one isn鈥檛 already accessing care, encourage them to do so. You can also offer to help them find a trauma-focused provider who takes their insurance.
Nurturing yourself while caring for others
When a loved one is living with a mental health condition like PTSD, it can affect everyone in their support network. But to be there for your friend or family member, you need to nurture your own well-being too.
No one can be in a caregiving role 24/7 without a break, and it鈥檚 OK to set some boundaries. By taking time for yourself and doing activities that reduce your stress level and lift your spirits, you鈥檒l be better able to help your loved one.
Clinician鈥檚 take
鈥淗aving a supportive loved one is one of the key ingredients for those who learn to manage their PTSD and live more fulfilled lives,鈥 clinical reviewer , explained. 鈥淟oved ones can have such a powerful effect.鈥
Find care
It can be hard to watch a loved one navigate PTSD, and it can be hard to know what to do 鈥 especially if their diagnosis is affecting you as well. But rest assured that with the right support, your loved one can learn to manage their PTSD symptoms and maintain their mental health.
Clinically reviewed by Elise Miller, MA, LPC
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